Today I wanted to offer some advice if you're feeling stressed out about setting New Year's resolutions and goals. This time of year often encourages many people to create content around being a completely new and different person for the upcoming year, and while I can get behind setting certain goals for yourself and being excited to accomplish those goals; I also think it's important to remember that change doesn't happen over night. Good things take time. And we can learn a lot from the way nature waits until the Spring to really blossom.
The other day while at a training session, my trainer asked me what my goals were for 2023. And I explained to him that my goals are primarily feelings based. Would it be nice to reach more people on my YouTube channel? Sure. What it be cool to reach certain goals in regards to viewership? Of course. But more importantly, I'm focused on how I want to feel in the New Year. Over time, I've found that when I focus too heavily on metrics based goals, I end up completely denying my feelings, which comes back to bite me in the long run.
The reason being, metric based goals aren't sustainable. Things change. The stock market crashes, viewership goes down, your weight fluctuates, etc. etc. So when you focus only on metrics, you're left feeling completely empty and defeated when those numbers change.
If you place your self worth in the goals that you set, where does that leave you if you don't accomplish those goals ?
How can you feel the best about yourself outside of the volatility of metric based goal setting?
While journaling last night, I started dreaming up how I want to feel in the New Year by asking myself these questions:
In what direction do I want to go?
What do I want to let go of?
How do I want to show up for myself?
What song best represents how I want to feel in 2023?
Starting with these prompts has helped me identify exactly how I want to feel. By acknowledging the things I need to let go of, or the ways in which I want to show up for myself, I can use those answers as a guiding light through 2023.
There can be a lot of pressure surrounding the New Year and the month of January. It's a widely known fact that gym memberships go up by a huge percentage in the first month of the year, as people are determined to start off the year on the right foot.
But I want to offer another option.
What if we took a page or two from nature's handbook? What if we stayed in slow, hibernation mode until Spring?
If we were really honest with ourselves, I think we'd realize that the Winter season isn't the time to be setting goals and trying to accomplish new things. The Winter season is when everything in nature is being watered, covered, & preparing to bloom in a few months time. So why do we, as people who are a part of nature, think that it's beneficial for us to try and start these new ventures in the middle of Winter?
This year, I'm looking forward to taking the Winter season slowly, and planting the seeds that will hopefully flourish by the time April comes along.
Don't get me wrong, I do have goals. I have so many ideas for things I'd love to launch and accomplish in 2023. I want to create a virtual cookbook, update my Feminine Fancy Handbook, offer more Zoom workshops, and overall be more creative. But I'm trying not to put the insane pressure on myself to have it all sorted out in the Winter. And I don't expect to have it all figured out in a few weeks.
The best things in life take time. So if you find yourself worrying that maybe you don't have enough goals, or you're trying to figure out how you will accomplish your goals before Q1 is over, take a breath. Take a step back. And focus more on planting seeds that will bloom in the Spring.
I think it's also important to note that not having any goals, is also an option. And depending on the kind of person you are, or where you're at in life right now, it can be the best option for you. Our society makes it impossible to simply exist. To just vibe out being alive. It makes us feel like we have to have goals, otherwise what are we contributing to society? But not every year is a year for setting goals and smashing them. Some years, we need to focus on softness and on being kind to ourselves.
The last year has been very difficult for me in a variety of ways, and there's no way I would have been able to focus on becoming the best version of myself this year, for the simple fact that it was just a hard year. My energy was focused on staying healthy, staying sane, and offering myself grace and softness.
So maybe this isn't the year for you to smash any goals. Maybe this is the year for you to round out the edges of your life, and offer yourself a gentle entry into the New Year.