Cultivating Femininity | Integrity, Character & Honesty

Hello lovelies and welcome back to the blog!

This morning, while checking my messages on Instagram, I received a message from a lovely subscriber who alerted me that someone had taken bits and pieces from my last blog post and created their own post on Instagram without crediting me.

They quite literally copied and pasted several sections of the post, and didn't tag me or give me credit for my thoughts.

When they were called out for this behavior, they deleted the post, and tried to convince me that, "their assistant put it up and they had no idea". Okay lady. Sure.

This isn't the first time this has happened to me.

Last fall, another creator took the words I wrote on an Instagram post, and used it as their own caption, without crediting me. When I confronted this creator about it, they accused me of, "harassing a pregnant woman".

Then she blocked me.

Both of these situations got me thinking about feminine character, integrity & honesty. And why these traits are so important as women.

As I mentioned in my last post and video, yes we can cultivate outer beauty, but what is it really, without good character?

In today's post, let's dive in to the importance of having good character, integrity, and being an honest woman.

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INTEGRITY

For a long while, I didn't really know what integrity meant. It's not a word you hear that often, so it's not a word who's definition will just roll off the tongue.

It was in a therapy session a few years ago, when my therapist wisely used the word "integrity" to explain to me what my former relationship partner was lacking.

"He lacks integrity," she said. "He told you one thing, and then did something completely different the next day."

It was in that moment that I started to understand the definition of the word integrity.

I began to understand integrity as:

• honoring your word

• standing for your beliefs

• being honest with yourself and others

As a woman, these characteristics have become more and more important to me, as I've gotten older, and grown into my understanding of who I am as a person.

I've also noticed that when I see a lack of integrity on others, I feel it immediately.

This is why, if you're like me, you might get incredibly irritated with that one girlfriend who flippantly says, "Let's get lunch soon!" or "I'll see you soon!" Even though you both know that's not going to happen.

Or when a friend isn't honest about being upset about something you've said or done, and instead of being upfront about it, they hold a grudge for months on end. Being ever more passive aggressive until you finally figure out that they're mad at you.

These things might seem small, but they can indicate a lack of integrity.

A woman who is mature in her femininity, is a woman of integrity. She's someone who says what she means and means what she says. Her words actually hold weight and value to her, and she does not say things casually.

She understands that when you say things casually, when you're not careful with your words or your promises, you can inadvertently end up hurting the people you love the most.

This is why it's so important to have a good understanding of who you are, individually. Because it can be so easy to be swayed in various directions, when your self assuredness is lacking. Which can then cause you to waver on your beliefs in situations where you might not want to waver.

Integrity is important because it communicates that self-assuredness to everyone you come in contact with. People know that you're a woman who holds her morals and beliefs in the highest regard, and they know that you're not afraid to be honest about your stance.

In the case of the plagiarism I've experienced recently, those two women, unfortunately, showcased a severe lack of integrity.

It might not seem like a huge deal to many, but taking intellectual property and passing it off as your own, might be the best example of not being honest and not honoring your word.

It is taking someone else's work, thoughts, and feelings and pretending as though they came from your experience, all in an effort to gain notoriety, acclaim, and likes.

Ladies, I can't stress this enough, do not do this.

As feminine women, we understand that we are all beautifully different. We have different life experiences that allow us to bring different perspectives to the world. And when you copy and paste someone else's experience and try to pass it off as your own - you're robbing the world of getting to hear and see YOUR perspective.

And being outed as a woman who is a fraud in the process.

Be a woman of integrity.

Know that your words have value, and be careful about what you say.

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HONESTY

I know many of us already know that it's important to be honest. But I don't think we understand why.

Similar to being a woman of integrity, being a woman of honesty places you in a position to be a credible person. Which is something that I don't think we value enough today.

But when you think about it, how do we look at people who are known to tell lies? We can't trust them. We feel unsafe around them. We can't have good relationships with them.

There's an inherent lack of that warm and welcoming feminine nature, because we simply don't trust what they are telling us.

A woman who is mature in her femininity knows that honesty is of the utmost importance. And she also knows how to be honest in a kind manner.

That is something I've had to work on over the years! I have had a tendency to be honest without thinking too much about what I'm saying or how I'm saying it, and then follow up with, 'Well I was just being honest!"

But honesty that hurts feelings, is unnecessary.

You can be truthful to the people around you, while sprinkling a bit of kindness and softness on top of what you're saying.

If a friend asks you what you think of her new boyfriend and you can't stand even the thought of him, try verbalizing it in a way that shows that what you truly care about is your friend's happiness and safety. (This does not apply to abusive relationships or if you have evidence of abuse.)

You could say, "I'll be honest, Dave isn't someone I would've pictured you with. But what do I know?! If he makes you happy, that's all I care about!"

Or if you have genuine concerns, you can say, "You know I love you so much, and I want you to be happy. But some of what I'm seeing from your relationship looks unhealthy. Are you doing okay?"

Honesty is truly the best policy. We just have to add a little sweetness to it sometimes.

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CHARACTER

Finally, let's chat about character.

When I think of character, I think of who a person IS. How they think, what they do or don't do, & what they feel.

And a person of good character, does things every day to cultivate and maintain that good character.

A great example of this is my husband.

He is the cheeriest, most empathetic man I've ever met.

We live in an area with a very large unhoused community. At every corner, there's someone holding a sign in desperate need of help, or even a smile.

From the moment I met my husband, he's always been the person who truly sees the humanity of this community.

He engages in conversation, he'll ask what he can do to help, he'll ask if they want anything from the store or bakery. And he'll joyfully give them what they request.

This is a habit of his. It is in his character. He is known to everyone as a giver.

In doing a little research for this topic, I came across this article by Yale University, that I think sums up how to build good character pretty well.

How does this impact our femininity?

Good character shows up the most in how we treat others. It's how we treat people who can't do anything for us in return. How we treat people when no one is watching.

If we are women of good character, we are sure to live life by the golden rule of treating others the way we want to be treated. And treating others with kindness and respect, are two of the easiest ways to engage with your femininity.

One of my favorite quotes on this topic is from none other than Ms. Maya Angelou:

“I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” ― Maya Angelou

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Your character, your integrity, and your honesty are three key areas of your femininity. Being truthful yet kind, honoring your words and promises, and making sure that you leave people you come in contact with, better than you found them, are real ways to express traditional femininity in your daily life.

Remember that who you are on the inside, will always be far more important than how you look on the outside.

That's it for this post my loves! Leave a comment below sharing your thoughts, and thanks for reading.

xo,

F.