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10 Practical Ways to Choose Peace Everyday


Hello dears and welcome back to the blog! A big theme in my life since getting married has been finding ways to actively choose peace whenever possible and boy has it made a significant difference in my day to day experience.


I never sought out arguments or disagreements previously, but I was much more easily bothered by things that I now don't give a second thought. You can see this somewhat evidenced in the evolution of my content over the years. Just a few years ago, I was making videos on getting over friendship breakups, rebranding your life, and all the things I wish I'd known in my 20s. I wasn't making those videos out of sheer intuition that the masses would enjoy it, I made them because they were usually what I was going through at the time. I would sit and ruminate on experiences and situations from my past, and channel those thoughts into heavily detailed blog posts and YouTube videos. Which had its place, don't get me wrong. But now, I don't get bothered enough by anything to warrant running to the internet to talk about it.


Perhaps it's turning 30 and my prefrontal cortex being completely developed, or perhaps it was the decision to remove myself from certain online spaces. Whatever the case, in every area of my life now, I choose peace. But I know that's not always easy for us to do.


As women, we often want to make everyone around us happy, sometimes to our own detriment. And instead of standing firm in our own power and sovereignty, we relinquish ourselves to saying "yes" when we want to say "no", and feeling all the more misaligned and resentful. Which directly impacts our ability to live in our feminine, and be a beacon of softness and light to those around us.


In an effort to help my fellow perfectionists and people pleasers, here are 10 practical ways to choose peace in your everyday life.


Say What You Mean, and Mean What You Say.

My mom used to say this to me all the time growing up, and I know it was meant to help me learn how to become an honest person who stands by her word. But now, as an adult, I realize the importance of this concept so much more. Especially as it relates to what gets your "yes" and what gets your "no". So often, we fall into the trap of agreeing to things we don't actually want to agree to, because we're afraid of something. Disappointing people, being seen in a certain light, or being misunderstood. But in saying yes when we don't mean it, we actually do everyone a disservice. We're not being honest with ourselves. We're not being honest with those around us. This is the fastest way to feel like you're not living a peaceful life, because you're not living aligned with what you really want.


Want to have more peace? Say no when you want to, and mean it. Say yes when you want to, and mean it.



Know When to Log Off

With so much content in so many different places these days, it can be hard to put the phone down and stop scrolling. But once you do, you'll notice a huge difference in your thought patterns and your peacefulness. When you silence the noise of all of the opinions, trending songs and audios, you give yourself the gift of silence. You give your mind the gift of silence.


Know When to Walk Away

I spoke on Patreon recently about a tough situation I had to walk away from. It was scary and so nerve-wrecking, but I knew I was not going to have peace in my life unless I did it. With the help of my therapist and the support of my husband, I walked away from something that had been toxic for several years, and immediately felt the weight fall off my shoulders.


Walking away from something is not always easy, especially if it's something you once wanted more than anything in the world. But when it's time to leave a toxic situation, walking away is the only pathway to peace. Being okay with disappointing some people, and dealing with the consequences of what walking away might mean comes with the territory of choosing peace for yourself.



 

Watch my video on this topic over on Patreon!

 

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

This is a common idea, but so often I see people losing their minds over things that just truly aren't that serious. Whether it's a coffee order that was wrong or someone taking a parking spot that you wanted. There are so many little inconveniences that we experience that sure, are annoying, but aren't worth ruining your whole day over. If you experience an annoyance, take a moment, breathe, and move on to the next moment. Make a conscious effort not to allow your entire day to be dictated by the jerk in the coffee line in front of you or the rude checkout girl at Target. You have more power over yourself and your reactions than you give yourself credit for.


Watch Peaceful Media

Sometimes when I'm feeling the need to have a more peaceful day, I reach for peaceful media instead of the usual loud and opinionated content that seems to clog up my feed. The cottagecore craze may have ended for most of the world in 2020, but I still love watching cottagecore style baking videos, reading cozy books, and being transported to another world. I love watching channels like Under a Tin Roof, Apronful of Stones, Haley Post and The Daily Connoisseur.



Opt for Relaxing Activities

It might sound obvious, but choosing relaxing activities to do everyday can help make your daily life far more peaceful. Carve out some time to do your hobbies, whatever they are! Or pick up some hobbies that help you feel at peace. I absolutely love baking, and I find that whenever I'm feeling sad or stressed out, baking a fresh batch of cookies or icing a cake for someone always brings me back to peace.


Don't Make Assumptions

This one has to be the most important one on this list. Over the years, I've learned to assume absolutely nothing. Nothing is exactly as it seems, and assuming you know the ins and outs of someone's life, only makes your life feel less than. This also goes for assuming you know another person's emotions or what they're feeling. If someone hasn't explicitly told you that they're mad at you or upset with you, feel free to assume nothing is wrong. Don't take on the burden of trying to be a mind reader because someone else isn't being forthcoming with you. We're all adults. And if someone in your life has a problem with you, it's up to THEM to communicate that. But assuming that they're mad or upset will only leave you feeling confused and sad.



Be Where Your Feet Are

This is a fancy way of saying - be present. Be here now. Be where you are. The more you try to get to "there", wherever there might be for you, the less you'll be able to have peace in what's going on right here. When I feel like I need to be more present, I take a moment to stop, look around, and take in all that's around me. I'll describe the scene to myself in explicit detail, utilizing all of my senses, and before you know it, I'm back in the present moment. Our society runs on such a mindset of constantly trying to get more and have more. So much so, that we stop enjoying what's right in front of us.


Keep a Gratitude Journal

An easy tip but a powerful one. Gratitude is a strong emotion. When we feel grateful, our lives become more peaceful because we're so focused on what we have, we're not worrying about what we don't have. Write a few things down every night that you're thankful for, or make a mental note in your head. But keep gratitude at the center and you're sure to feel a sense of peace everyday.



"Is it Worth My Energy?"

I find that asking myself this one simple question, helps me live a more peaceful life. Is it worth my energy? In our world today, energy and attention is currency. Literally. Companies are literally making billions of dollars off of our attention and our energy. The energy we put into consuming content, creating content, engaging with people online, etc. So clearly, if the world's brightest minds know how important energy is, we surely can ask ourselves everyday what is and isn't worth it.


 

Remember, peace is a choice. We have to actively curate a peaceful life by focusing on good and beautiful things. By making hard decisions, we carve out a life of alignment, power and peace.



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