Updated: May 3, 2020
I went to Joann's today with my mom to search around for some new fabric to make pillowcases. And I have a few things to say about it.
1) Joann's is a store that we need but don't deserve. It's just so wonderful.
2) They play ALL the bops in Joann's. I was rocking out to Ariana Grande and Jonas Brothers while choosing between *plush* and * faux fur* and that's the way I like to shop.
3) I really need to learn how to sew.
As we were standing in the line to get our fabric cut, the lady working at Joann's said, "You two look so familiar..." To which my mom responded, "Maybe you've seen us at church?" I added, "Maybe the hair salon?" It was at that moment she realized that we all went to the same hair salon.
Now, I have zero recollection of ever meeting this woman. She looked familiar to me, but I assumed it was from seeing her at Joann's. To which we learned, she had only just started working there.
She then asked me if I was a dancer. "Yes! I am!" I said. She went on to tell me that she remembered us because we had a conversation about my Alvin Ailey Dance Company audition, and it reminded her of when her Godmother would take her to see the firebirds. Then she said, "You carry yourself with such elegance, it just always reminded me of that time in my life when my Godmother would take me to see dance shows."
WHAT A COMPLIMENT.
I'm often told how "elegant", "classic" and "feminine" I am. And I love it. My love for all things pink, girly, royal and dainty is one of the characteristics I love most about myself.
And as I've watched countless videos on YouTube about femininity, I'm coming to realize that a lot of women don't know how to exercise this inherent grace and femininity that, I believe, all women possess.
SO. I've come up with a list of ways that women, who desire it, can exercise and cultivate their God-Given Femininity.
1. Try not to use curse words. Or actually, just don't use curse words. I've said it before and I'll say it again, there are SO many words in the dictionary that could better express whatever it is you're trying to communicate. I rarely swear, and when I do, people know I'm either LIVID or extremely serious. I would much rather say, "I'm going to have a conniption." as opposed to, "I'm going to flip the f**K out." It's more fun, and more often than not, it gives people a little chuckle.
2. Put effort into your outer appearance. Now, you don't have to wear makeup every single day if your schedule doesn't allow. I certainly don't. But I do try my best to put effort into my appearance. This means brushing and styling my hair, making sure my outfit is coordinated and appropriate. And finishing off with some accessories. (My accessory of choice is usually pearl earrings or my Tiffany's knot earrings.) You don't have to wear dangly earrings and flashy jewelry, but putting effort into the little details of your outward appearance, will go a long way.
3. Be slow to anger and rich in kindness. This is from a church song that I used to sing growing up. But I truly believe this applies to being a feminine woman as well. This isn't to say you're NEVER allowed to get angry or upset. But you don't want to go from 0-100 in a matter of seconds either. Being slow to anger means that you don't allow little daily annoyances or mishaps to throw you off to the point of yelling or making a scene. Similarly, when you're rich in kindness, you give grace to yourself and those around you, generously.
4. Receive compliments graciously. When someone compliments you, they are going out of their way to make your day a little brighter and add positivity into the world. To then knock it down by saying, "omg stop." or "No are you kidding I look like a wet rat today." You've just canceled out the good that was put into the world. Being feminine has a lot to do with confidence. You must know that you ARE beautiful, you do look amazing, you are articulate. So that when someone compliments you, you can simply say, "Thank you." And offer a smile in return. Something that helps me with this is to offer a compliment in return. Not only is it adding positivity, but it takes the focus off of you, if that is what makes you uncomfortable.
5. Allow people to help you. As women, we are so strong and capable, that sometimes, we forget that we don't have to do everything. Allowing people to help us isn't a sign of weakness, but it's a sign of strength. Particularly, allowing the men in our lives to do things for us that, yes, we can do too, allows the man to exercise his masculine energy, therefore allowing you to exert your feminine energy. So let the man open your door, drive you places, and fix things around the house! His inherent energy will naturally bring out yours.
6. Spend more time reading, and less on social media. I don't know about you, but when I am sitting outside in the sun, in the throws of a good book, I feel incredibly feminine. Something about diving into another world and allowing my imagination to take flight, enhances that feminine energy in a beautiful way. Scrolling on social media does nothing except cause comparison and unhappiness. Head to a park or rose garden, with a big hat and romance novel and you will definitely feel feminine.
7. Cultivate growth and creativity. As women, we are natural born creators. No one on this planet would be here without a woman. So leaning in to that creative energy that we are already born with, will allow your femininity to shine. We are designed to create, grow, and give life. So find ways you can implement that in your daily life. Start a garden in your backyard that you can tend to and watch flourish. Create beautiful pieces of art by sitting outside with a blank canvas and paints and seeing where your imagination takes you. Leaning in to our God-given nature of growing and creating, will always release feminine energy into the world.
8. Dress for your body, not the trends. This is a tip I've read in other places but it's SO true. Dressing for your body type and what makes you feel the most comfortable, will help you exude that feminine confidence. We all have different bodies, and different body types, so we can't assume that what looks good on Kim Kardashian is going to also work well for us. Figure out what shapes and styles look best on YOU. And you will feel that femininity flow.
MAN. I am long-winded. But I've got a lot to say. :)
Let me know in the comments, what femininity means to you! And different ways you let your feminine energy shine.