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On Being Traditional, yet Modern.

Hi loves!

In case you were wondering, yes, I'm still in Colorado. We'll be heading home at the end of the week, but I wanted to try and get in another blog post or two before we leave.

Today, I wanted to talk about balancing being a traditional and modern woman.

In my last video, a lot of people came from another channel and commented a lot of nasty things (that were then promptly blocked), about how "modern women" will end up sad and alone because of their specific way of thinking.

I talked about this in my Patreon video, but I truly don't understand why the term "modern women" has become such an insult. "Modern" just means new. It means current. It's not inherently good or bad, it just is. Just as there is a past, there is also a present. Neither of which have a nature of being positive or negative. It all depends on how human beings have acted within the confines of that particular period of time.

I read the comments about how modern women like me are stupid and the downfall of society (lol), I then logged off, and had an amazing night with my boyfriend. The boyfriend who, I'd made breakfast for that morning when he asked, and who made ginger tea for me in the evening when I wasn't feeling well.

It got me thinking about balance, and that middle ground that I'm always talking about.

Am I "modern"? I mean...sure? I have a job. I'm moving into an apartment in the city. I went to college.

But I'm also traditional. I get immense joy from resting in my feminine when I'm around my partner's masculine energy. I love cooking for him and smothering him with love and affection.

So why is there this prevailing idea that you're either one or the other?

I think about the yin and yang. How two opposite halves can complete each other, to create a whole. And it reminds me that it is possible, and okay to be modern and traditional. We don't have to fit into one category, if it's not authentic to who we are.


Traditions are established by culture, and cultures are different depending on where you are in the world. Some cultures hail women as their leaders, and have thriving economies and social structures.

Take The Mosuo people of China. According to T&C Magazine, "The Mosuo women are China's last surviving matriarchy. There are about 40,000 of them, according to The Independent, and they practice Tibetan Buddhism. Lineage is traced through the women of the family. This society is also matrilineal, meaning property is handed down the same female line. Mosuo women also don't marry."

Or The BriBri women of Costa Rica. "The BriBri people are an indigenous tribe with an estimated 12,000-35,000 members. In this society, land is handed down from the mother to her children. Women are revered and thus are the only people who can prepare the sacred cacao drink for their religious rituals."-T&C

"Traditional" will mean something different depending on who you ask, but that's what makes traditions beautiful.

There is a glamorization of what it means to be a traditional Western woman that often includes:

  • Getting married.

  • Taking care of your husband.

  • Bearing and taking primary care of your children.

  • Being responsible for household duties (cooking, cleaning, etc.)

  • Creating most things from scratch (bread, clothing, curtains, etc.)

All of these things are wonderful, and I'll never dispute any woman who desires this lifestyle as it does sound romantic. But as with many things in life, twists and turns show up, and I've seen time and time again, women have to take on a more "modern" role in their relationship when a job is lost or an injury occurs and the man can no longer be sole provider.

Can a woman still be traditional, if something like this happens? Is she all of a sudden unworthy or less valuable if she's no longer filling that "traditional" role?

Can she be traditional when it's beneficial, and then be modern, when it's beneficial?

As with many aspects of our character or personality, we might lean more towards one or the other. Some of us might lean more traditional, and some of us might lean more modern.

But where does that leave those of us who fall in the middle?


I think the key is in deciding what aspects of your life and your relationship, do you deem it important to be traditional. And which aspects of your life and relationship do you deem it important to be more modern?

Perhaps you prefer to dress "traditionally" (whatever that means to you), but you prefer a relationship where both partners have equal say in big decision making.

Or perhaps you prefer a relationship that is more "traditional" where the man takes leadership, but you're more modern within your work and career ambitions.

Or maybe you hate the idea of your father "giving you away" on your wedding day, but you plan on taking your husband's last name.

Things don't have to be this or that. They can be both, and.

You can live a traditional life, and still incorporate modern elements. We are all modern to some extent. We use iPhones, computers, and apps. We order our food via GrubHub instead of cooking full course meals. We set our tv to record our favorite shows so we don't have to sit through commercials. And we can connect with people across the globe on the internet.

Modernity is not inherently bad, nor is traditionalism inherently good. They both just are.

And finding your personal balance in how you want to express your feminine in your daily life, whether that be as a corporate CEO or a Stay At Home mom, is a decision between you and your partner, not people on the internet telling you that modernity is evil.


I hope you enjoyed this post! If you did, I'd highly suggest checking out my Patreon video on this topic.

Be sure to follow along on Instagram if you're not already, and comment down below: are you more modern, traditional, or a little bit of both?



1 Comment

Susan Xiong
Susan Xiong
Dec 17, 2023

I am most definitely both. My boyfriend and I both have a full-time career. He manages our real estate, finances and exterior landscape, while I do the cooking and household chores. He sometimes do some household chores like mopping and taking out the trash. We both clean up after ourselves, and sometimes we eat take out when we don't want to cook or eat leftovers. I love being feminine and taking care of my husband sometimes. I think we make a pretty great team.


Just a California girl who believes in a good cup of tea, a fresh bouquet of peonies, page turning novels & romanticizing everyday life.

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