Hello Sweet Friend,
As the New Year swiftly approaches, I thought, there's no better time than now to re-evaluate our homes, apartments, dorm rooms, etc. to see if they truly fit with who we are.
I don't know about you, but living at home means that I still have pieces of furniture in my bedroom that I've had for literal decades. I've made quite the effort to transform my once all pink Barbie themed childhood bedroom, into the apartment-style blush and grey space it is today. But there's always more we can do to ensure that our space is a genuine reflection of us and of our femininity.
But, I want to be clear that no matter where you live, whether it's a studio apartment or a luxurious mansion, you can create a space that is warm, inviting, and that welcomes feminine energy. Remember, it's not about how much you have, it's about taking the utmost care of what you already have. My mom always says that God won't bless you with more, if you don't care for what He's already given you.
That said, gratitude should be a priority.
I'd also like to remind you that this is not about buying things. As someone who is working towards becoming a homemaker, one of the attributes I'm trying my best to adapt is frugality. With the picture perfect homes that I'm sure we've all seen on Instagram, our first instinct can often be to go out and buy new things. But I would challenge you to try looking at what you already have, in a new way. Are there things you can repurpose? Can you paint that old jewelry box a different color to give it a fresh new look?
Always consider how you can reuse things, before running out to buy more.
Another thing to consider, is what your personal style is now. Who are you today? Chances are, this year probably changed you in ways you weren't expecting. Perhaps you've discovered a love for yoga, or for taking care of house plants. What are the new hobbies you're interested in, and how can you incorporate these new and exciting changes into your space?
The place where you dwell is intended to recharge your feminine energy. It is intended to refresh your spirit and give you the strength you need to go out and face the world. Your space is meant to be a place of respite and safety. So how can we incorporate these things? How can we create this feminine sanctuary?
Let's begin with Step 1: Blessing The Space.
This might only be for people who are spiritually inclined like myself, but I firmly believe that blessing your space is so very important. When you think about how many people have been in and out of your home, you must also remember that those people carry energies. And those energies can either be positive, or negative. How can you rest in your femininity, when there might be bad vibes or negative energies floating around that you don't even know about?
Blessing the space will look differently for everyone. In my home, it often involves opening all the windows, lighting incense, burning sage and sprinkling Holy Water in each room. Opening the windows encourages negative energy to blow right out, incense is used for aromatherapy and meditation, and burning sage cleanses and purifies the air. You might find it helpful or cathartic to say prayers, meditations or affirmations aloud while you do this. Or, you can simply thank your space for providing you with shelter and warmth.
This can be a weekly practice on Sunday, or a monthly practice. Whatever works for you and your schedule, but I do find it important to cleanse your space in some way, in order to create the ambiance needed to truly rejuvenate your femininity.
Step 2: Re-Evaluating Your Person
As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, we can all change a lot in a year's time. We grow, our facial structures might change, our bodies change. And along with those changes comes changes in our interests. And that's okay!
It is totally okay to not be into the things you were once obsessed with. In fact, I would encourage it.
For if we are not changing, we're not growing.
So in this step, I challenge you to re-evaluate who you are and how you would define yourself today, versus a year ago. I talk about that extensively in this video, and I find that whenever I take the time to sit and ask myself how I've changed, I'm pleasantly surprised to find that I love who I have become.
When you evaluate who you are, and you write it down, you have a better understanding of what you'll need in your space, in order for it to best serve you. Perhaps you need space for an altar of some sort. Or maybe you need to change your rug or shower curtains. Maybe wallpaper would give the place a facelift. Whatever you choose, it'll be easier to choose, once you know who you are, and what you need.
Step 3: Decor
Now we get to have a little fun, and discuss your decor. The fun part about decor, is the fact that you can truly allow your personality to shine through in how you choose to adorn your space.
Do you prefer the French Romantic style? Or are you more Boho Chic? Perhaps you like the Whimsical Cottagecore aesthetic, or maybe you prefer the Modern Boss Babe look. I think it's important to know how you would describe your style, because you'll always
choose pieces that lend themselves to working very well together.
Now that's not to say that if you like a little of everything it can't work together beautifully. But for the sake of having a space that you feel comfortable in and proud of, I think it's a good idea to have a general theme.
Let's say you lean towards the French Romantic style like myself. When you're out shopping you might lean towards purchasing things that are pastel colored, brass, with very ornate designs.
Step 4: The Accoutrements
In case you're unfamiliar with this word, it is a french word meaning accessories. In this context, I'm using it to describe the ways in which you will accessorize your sanctuary. The same way we put earrings on to add to an outfit, we should accessorize our space to enhance its beauty as well.
This can be anything from beautiful artwork, framed photos, flowers, or coffee table books. There is something about accessorizing your space that levels it up, and takes it from being simply a place where you rest your head, to being a place where you have put in that little extra effort to create your perfect ambiance.
Think of your favorite hotel. Or a hotel where you hope to stay someday. What accoutrements do they utilize to create the ambiance that makes the experience feel luxurious? Try incorporating some of those elements in your home.
This can be on a small or large scale, but the idea is to always find ways to put in that extra effort. After all, your feminine sanctuary should be just that, a sanctuary. It should be a reflection of how you want to feel on the inside.
And if you're not putting in that little extra effort, what are you ultimately saying about yourself?
Step 5: Taking Safety Seriously
Unfortunately, many young women today simply don't take their own safety seriously. They leave their front doors unlocked and snicker at the thought of an alarm system. Ladies, please don't do this!
How can your space be a safe respite, if you don't have the proper safety measure in place to ensure that you can fully let your guard down? This goes especially for my single women who live alone. Safety should be your number one priority.
Invest in that alarm system, the security cameras or the pepper spray.
We can't live in such a bubble, believing that nothing bad can ever happen to us. That is simply not true. And as scary as that might be to accept, what's scarier is the lack of importance many women put on their own safety.
I've said countless times in this post how your sanctuary is meant to be a place where you feel safe, and that includes practical ways to ensure that you can truly, relax.
Well loves, that's all I have for you today. I hope this gives you a little guidance in creating your own feminine sanctuary!
When you've read this post, take a picture of your favorite space in your sanctuary, post it to stories, and tag me on Instagram! @_thefemininefancy_
I'd love to see the places where you rest and recharge your feminine energy.
I love you all so very much.