It's finally time to give you the second half of this blog post that you all loved SO much! Let's jump in without delay. :)
Here are the final 5 habits that are killing your femininity.
Who else has low-key felt like being feminine means being perfect all. the. time? When we look on social media and we see perfectly curated photos and videos on YouTube, it's easy to fall into a mindset that we must be perfect. But the reality of the feminine, is that she is free-flowing. She is creative and she allows herself make mistakes and learn from them.
Perfection is rigid and cold, where the feminine is flowing and dynamic. The feminine does her best to be guided by her intuition, her heart, and her wisdom. Where perfectionism is often based in doing what looks good to the outside world.
Perfectionism asks: How can I appear feminine to those around me?
Femininity asks: How can I embrace the feminine spirit every day?
I have struggled with perfectionism for most of my adult life. Perfectionism that stems from both internalized racism, and internalized misogyny. I believed that in order to make up for the fact that I am a black woman, I needed to have everything together, at any and every given moment.
But working on the release of that internalized hatred towards my own feminine body, has allowed me to thrive in ways unimaginable. Because being perfect does not somehow counteract, or make up for, who I was created to be.
It only stifles the beauty that is me, in its entirety.
Challenge: If you struggle with perfectionism, write down 10 areas of your life that you're completely content with. This could be physical features that you love or a home that you're happy with. The goal is to focus on gratitude, and not what needs to be "fixed" to look perfect to the world.
7. Poor Diet
Why is it, that even though doctors, nutritionists and even therapists tell us that diet plays a HUGE impact on our emotions, brain function and overall joy, we laugh them off as if they're just trying to make a quick buck? Now, I'm not one to put ALL my stock in human beings, but specialists have studied the effects of diet on overall health and wellness, and the results have been in for a long time.
When we eat processed foods, greasy foods, or foods that have too much sugar, there is a negative affect on our overall being. So why would we assume that that doesn't affect our feminine energy?
Consuming a diet that is high in leafy greens, fruits, and food that is natural to our earth, makes us feel more connected to her.
Let's be honest..does a Crunchwrap Supreme from Taco Bell make me incredibly happy in the moment? Yes. But shortly after consuming it, I can feel the havoc it wreaks on my body. I start breaking out and the next thing you know, my self esteem drops because of it.
I'll never be one to tell you to only eat salads, because what kind of life is that? But I do think it is beneficial to consult with a naturopath or nutritionist to see what foods work best with your body, and tailor your diet around that.
Challenge: Create one meal made entirely of natural ingredients from the earth. Follow me on Pinterest for some of my favorite, natural recipes.
8. Never Seeking Advice
This one is tricky because you all know how I feel about keeping certain aspects of your feminine journey to yourself. (#moveinsilence ) But the truth is, we can't do anything alone in this life. We need community and a team of supporters championing us on our way.
If we live with the, "I can do bad all by myself" mentality, all that does is harden our hearts.
The truth is that while the masculine thrives in competition, the feminine thrives in community. She loves to dance and be free among other women who have the same fiery spirit as she does. She loves to embrace and uplift others.
We need to seek advice from the wise women in our community, when we see fit. We need to seek out women who have our best interest, who are our champions and who want to see us succeed in embodying our femininity.
I would be nothing without my team of amazing women, who want the best for me. Whether it's my own mother, whose wisdom guides me through my every decision. My therapist, with her soft way of getting to the root of my fear and anxiety. Or my naturopath, whose knowledge of the female body is only enhanced by her tenderness.
We all need a team. And to begin creating one, is to accept the fact that we can't do this alone.
You can do this through speaking with the trusted women in your family. Or by seeking out a professional, through coaching.
I'm now offering feminine coaching in a variety of areas, and you can trust that I have your best interest. I want you to thrive in your feminine journey, and I want to be there every step of the way to guide you.
If you feel so inclined, book an initial consultation with me, and let's work together to help you become the woman of your dreams ✨.
Challenge: Start creating your team. Whether through working with me, or through finding professionals who will champion your journey.
9. Never Spending Time Outside
Perhaps this is because I'm a California girl in love with a boy from the Rocky Mountains, but I feel so connected to my feminine spirit when I'm in nature.
There's something about being amongst the redwoods, or walking along the ocean that puts life into perspective for me, and reminds me that I am but a small piece of this equation called life.
When I'm stuck inside, unable to walk alongside Mother Nature, I can feel my feminine diminishing. As they say, there's a reason why we call her Mother Nature. She too embodies the feminine. She embodies what it means to grow something from nothing, to create, and to breathe.
Like women, Mother Nature is the ultimate creator. Birthing life at every turn. And when we connect with that, we connect with our deep, innate, feminine ability to create.
Challenge: If you feel that you don't have time to spend outside, make time. Go for a walk, drive to the forest or the beach. Take your journal, and write what you see. (But remember to be safe and always let someone know where you're going.)
10. Closing Off Your Heart
Bitterness has seeped into the hearts of many. Heartbreak will do that. Disappointment will do that. Trauma will do that.
The natural human response is to protect ourselves, and to create a wall so high that no one is able to penetrate or get through. So that no one will be able to wound our hearts.
This is what has happened to so many women.
We were disappointed when that guy didn't like us back. Wound.
We were heartbroken when our marriage/relationship dissolved. Wound.
We were shattered when our best friend betrayed us. Wound.
We were angered when someone on the internet insulted us. Wound.
We take hit after hit, and it turns our hearts into something unrecognizable.
But what if, instead of closing off our hearts when they're wounded, we turn towards our attacker and extend forgiveness and gratitude?
What if, instead of being heartbroken, we're grateful? And instead of being crushed, we honor that which has hurt us?
When you close off your heart, you close it to not only things that are potentially dangerous, but also, to things that are potentially beautiful. You don't allow for new and wonderful people and experiences to come in, out of fear of being hurt again.
But the feminine needs to live life with an open heart. A heart that's willing to do what she does best, receive. And we can't receive, if we can't let anyone in.
How can you soften your heart today? Can you choose gratitude over wounds?
Challenge: Look inward. Do some journaling/reflection about where your heart has hardened. Why it has hardened. And how you can soften and open it again. The Divine Deep Dive is an awesome resource for this.
Well my lovelies that's it for this post! I hope you enjoyed it! If you did, leave a comment below letting me know which tip was your favorite.
If you're interested, sign up for a consultation with me, and let's work together to enhance your feminine journey. I'd love to connect with you on a more personal and professional level.
Enjoy the rest of your week my loves.