The Silent Power of Wholesome Living

Hello Loves!

Welcome back to the blog. I'm writing this in bed as my husband and I just finished playing three rounds of Rummy while watching The Mindy Project on my laptop and snacking on freshly popped popcorn.

Many of our nights look similar to this - a game after dinner, a late night snack, an episode of our favorite show. It's one of the things I most look forward to in my day. Getting a chance to sit down with him, and do something wholesome.

These little moments might seem insignificant, but I truly feel that it's in these moments, that our relationship is fortified. Through laughter, friendly competition, and connection, we sink deeper into intimacy with each other.

That is the power of wholesome living.

It offers us the opportunity to connect in intentional and meaningful ways.

Often when we think about wholesome living, I think many of us can have a Little House on the Prairie or Anne of Green Gables image in our minds. And we can feel so far removed from a life that looks even remotely similar to the characters on those shows, that we don't think that wholesome living can be for us.

But the beauty of choosing to live a life that is wrapped in intention, love and genuine fun - is that we can do it anywhere, anytime.

We don't have to run through cornfields with linen skirts and ribbons in our hair, (though that sounds lovely), or milk our own cows, or have access to acres and acres of land. We can implement wholesome living anywhere. From our one bedroom apartment, dorm room, or farmhouse.

No matter where we are, we can access the power of wholesome living.

In my opinion, wholesome living is living life with immense gratitude. Gratitude for the people and things in our lives. So much so, that we'd rather sit around a candlelit table, playing card games and enjoying each other's company, than scroll for hours on end as we all sit silently in the same room.

Wholesome living is choosing to be fully invested in the person you're spending time with. It's an active, not passive way of being in community with your people.

That's not to say that there isn't something equally comforting about sitting in silence with your best friend on your couch while you both scroll on Instagram with Vanderpump Rules playing in the background. With no expectations or disappointments. Those moments definitely have their place as well.

But if wholesome living is about connection, how connected can we truly be if we're always distracted by something? When we should be giving our loved ones our undivided attention?

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I realize now that I'm older, how much I value a more wholesome life. While the younger version of me was far more invested in bar hopping, late nights and scream-singing Destiny's Child at karaoke. The current iteration of myself prefers early nights, recognizes the value of a good night's sleep, and waking up without a pounding hangover.

I've acknowledged the ways in which my idea of fun has radically changed, and I welcome the change with open arms.

I spoke about this in my Soft Girl Summer workshop. The concept of redefining your idea of fun, in service of a more fulfilling and more peaceful life. And I've begun leaning in to the new things that I find fun. No matter how "lame" or "corny" they might seem.

Why do we associate things that don't involve vulgarity, drinking alcohol, and recklessness with being "corny" or immature? I can't tell you how many times I've been made fun of for enjoying certain hobbies or activities, that people in my life thought were silly. Simply because I wasn't participating in the activities that they were participating in.

Since when is living a healthy, peaceful, and joyful life corny? Since when is debauchery associated with maturity and adulthood?

While I recognize that I'm in a completely different phase of my life now, than I was in my early 20s, I would never trade for the crazy nights of my past for the fulfillment and joy that I feel now.

Living a wholesome life has created a sense of self in me that I didn't expect.

And that's because it takes courage to live a wholesome life. It takes courage to go against the grain. Choosing this might cause you to lose friends from prior eras of your life. I certainly have drifted from people in my life who I used to have immense amounts of fun with, because my idea of fun changed.

But with that change, came a greater awareness of the woman I am, and the woman I want to be.

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It might sound lame, but I thoroughly enjoy my wholesome hobbies. Scrapbooking, reading, baking, playing card games, doing puzzles. These activities are the opposite of instant gratification.

They take time and patience.

But the reward is so much greater than the dopamine hit of watching a 10-second TikTok video only to scroll on to the next one and forget about it an hour later.

When I'm deep in a book I'm reading. A book that's so good I stay up until 2am turning every page until I get to the last one. The euphoria of reading the last sentence and closing the entire book is unparalleled. There's nothing quite like it.

Or the pure joy I felt earlier tonight as my husband and I finished our third round of rummy while laughing our butts off at Mindy Lahiri and her antics.

Or the feeling of taking a freshly baked cake out of the oven that has risen perfectly and whose smell has permeated my entire house.

There's something so pure and genuine about these moments. And so, so memorable.

These hobbies have allowed me to find excitement and bliss in what appears to be mundane.

They've allowed me to welcome and enjoy silence, instead of constantly pumping my brain with various sounds, songs, and noises.

This welcoming of silence and slower hobbies, has cultivated an environment of peace in our home.

One thing I'm incredibly proud about, is that our home is one that people always say they can easily fall asleep in. Just the other day, my mom stopped by for a visit. And after offering her some of my homemade bread, and making her a cup of tea, she drifted off to sleep on our couch. It was adorable.

My best friend often tells me how whenever she comes over during the day, her eyelids always get heavy as the light peaks through the windows, a breeze makes its way in, and the sound of silence or light coffeehouse music rocks her away to dreamland.

We have cultivated a culture of peace in our home.

Through my husband's insistence that we don't get a TV, our home lends itself to evenings where I'm finding something new to cook or bake as he reads his weekly subscription of The Economist.

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This way of life gives us the opportunity to nurture our relationship, and the relationships we have with other people in our lives.

We connect, we laugh, we discuss interesting and thought-provoking topics. We play games, we dance, we're silly, and we're present.

By focusing on gratitude, and making the small moments count, we are able to more deeply feel the connections we have with our loved ones.

We are able to focus on what is meaningful to us. What brings us true and lasting joy. And what helps us to remain in thankfulness for the things and people that we have.

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If you're interested in this topic, and want to hear more of my thoughts, head to Patreon for my video on Wholesome Living.

That's it for today, ladies!

Thank you so much for reading, and have a wonderful week.

xo,

F.